Incomplete
by markitzero
Summary: A love triangle between Cullen/Blackwall/Inquisitor, so much potential I don't know why there aren't more stories about these characters, so I had to write this.
1. Incomplete

**This takes place near the end of the game, though not exactly in time with the events of the game. I wanted to write a jealousy love triangle between Cullen/inquisitor and Blackwall, so here it is starting. Please review, I would appreciate your opinion on where it should go! I do not own the image/characters etc.**

* * *

><p>He loved her.<p>

Why hadn't he ever said it? Her eyes were frantically searching his now, the exquisite green blending with the fade rift now closing behind her.

He couldn't recall ever telling her; it was true, had been since he pretty much arrived at Haven. Had he just thought of her every day, loved her every day, and overlooked the fact that he had never said the words to her in person? How could he be such an idiot. After everything, he couldn't leave without her knowing that, without her knowing that through all his mistakes and lies it had all been to protect her, he done it all for her.

"Anya! Please, stop those tears and listen to me. I have...I have to tell you, "Blackwall, please don't say anything. You've been badly poisoned; bloody green lanky bastards were all around me I never saw, I should have had your back, like you always have mine. I'm sorry, hang on, we'll get you back to Skyhold, I can't do much from here..." For god sakes woman! listen to me." He grabbed her by the collar of her enchanters coat and brought her lips down on his, " I bloody love you with all my heart, I hope you know.." He couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, the poison began to seep its way through him. He had never felt such pain, what kind of poison was this?!

"Cassandra, help me lift him, quick! Hold on you! I'm not letting you get away that easy! "

That was the last thing he heard before losing consciousness.

* * *

><p>A knock at the door made her almost topple off the balcony in surprise, she could always fall asleep in the strangest of places, but the lack of sleep over the last few days was definitely getting to her.<p>

The inquisitor stumbled across the room sleepily, eyeing Blackwall on the way past. Still no change. A sigh escaped her lips as she swung the door to her quarters open to find Cullen looking rather bashful. Although he always looked that way.

"Ah, hello, I wasn't expecting you commander Cullen. Is everything alright?"

He took a moment to answer as if what he had planned to say was being re-rehearsed in his head.

"I...,m, I guess right now might not be the best time, just tell me if I'm bothering you, but I wondered if you wanted some company. Just to see how you are doing. No, that came out in the wrong order.."

Anya smiled for the first time in a while.

"I would love your company, Cullen, thank you."

He smiled, letting out a breath she didn't know he'd been keeping in and climbed the stairs to her quarters.

"I was worried, we all are...you have been up in this tower for a while now and of course we are all concerned for Blackwall's state but he's stable but you've barely eaten and had no sleep" He paused, considering his words, " Blackwall might not change for some time, they managed to extract most of it, but as to when he will awake...he wouldn't want you doing this to yourself." His voice lowered to a hush,

" Besides, you can't stay up here forever. Please come down with me."

His words brought her back to reality a bit.

"I appreciate what you are trying to do Cullen and I thank you for always watching out for me, but I have to be here when he wakes up, you weren't there when he was poisoned. If that's even what it was...I didn't get time to tell him, shit.." she trailed off, collapsing onto the floor from exhaustion. Cullen winced at being so useless to her right now, he wished there was more he could do. Quickly he scooped her up and laid her out on the sofa, looking over to the bed where Blackwall lay motionless asides from the slow breathing. No one had any opinion on what had entered his system, they had seen nothing like it before. Likely a weapon to try and target the inquisitor by going for those she loved the most. The arrow had pierced the weak spot of his armour and he went down in a matter of minutes. Cullen couldn't stand to see her like this, in this pain, he wanted to take it all away.

"Anya..."

The first time Cullen had actually used her name to get her attention. No title, a strange tone in his voice, almost a whisper, it made her turn her full attention to him.

"If I can do anything, I want to help." She had always held a fondness for Cullen, he was a good man and always seemed to be there whenever she needed him, as if he wasn't a busy enough man as it was, he'd always found time for her.

"I suppose you're right. Not one mage has any idea what it is, including me. So until then its a waiting game to see if he wakes and that's even unlikely, but I know its not what he would want, me brooding up here. He'd tell me to get my arse out there and keep fighting to find the bastards that attacked the inquisition and I'm going to do just that! Thank you, Cullen. "

Her smile alone was comforting to him, even if she was now recklessly going to throw herself into battle.

* * *

><p>"Cassandra, cover me! Dorian, go round the back and I'll get in close! She darted towards the open fade rift, haunting memories of last time she was doing this came swooping back but she didn't let them falter her determination to close this one. Lifting her anchor towards the sky, it was all over in a few seconds. Being back fighting rifts and doing good deeds did feel right, like it was where she was meant to be, and it kind of took her mind off the fact that Blackwall lay brain dead, for all anyone knew, in her quarters at Skyhold, but...damn, she was thinking of him again.<p>

"Anything interesting?"

She looked up to see Tevinter robes glistening in the sunlight. "Hi Dorian,uh...what?"

"I said, what were you just thinking about, your pained expression could scare half the demons away without lifting a finger "

"Oh. I'm ok really though, it just lingers on my mind how long he's been...sleeping for now...two months. Cant be normal right?"

"Well, no. It's also not normal that an unconscious man is better groomed than you right now. Sorry inquisitor but we've all noticed you've flung yourself into the tasks ahead to keep yourself busy but please, do take care of yourself dear. For Blackwall's sake, I mean, you'll want to look your best for when he wakes up."

She smiled a little at this. She had good friends around her, Cassandra had even ran after the assailant of Blackwall's attack but it seemed they simply disappeared.

" Look, inquisitor, I say you stop sulking about and just be patient. You have supportive friends who are willing to listen any time you know."

He winked at her and walked away. Yup, if Dorian didn't tell her how it was, no one would. She couldn't help but smirk a little and headed back with the others to tidy herself up.

* * *

><p>"Sorry!" They exclaimed in unison as an accidental nudge from Cullen on the way past had made both commander and inquisitor almost go tumbling to the ground. Cullen was as red as the fur he wore.<p>

"Inquisitor, I am so sorry. That was all my fault, entirely. How are you?"

"Good day to you _commander_. I kind of miss you using my real name, like you did the other night. But I'm doing fine thank you, maybe you could drop by later to give me an update on how operations at Skyhold have been getting on?" With that she offered him a genuine smile that warmed his heart and turned in the direction she was heading.

He hadn't had time to answer, not as if he would ever dream of refusing.

A chap at the door drew her away from the balcony and the setting sun to get the door for Cullen.

"You know, its actually open commander, I was expecting you. "

He smiled and simply nodded, but would never lower his manners as to wander into a ladies chambers without so much as a knock at the door first. Anyway, he loved being greeted by her. Sometimes it involved a rare hug, like tonight. It was a strong, tight grip she had around him.

"Thank you, I _needed_ that."

Cullen was fixed to the spot in fervour for a moment before joining her on the balcony to watch the sun say goodnight.

"Operations are all in order, with the." he started but she cut him off.

"I know I am always thanking you these days Cullen and that hasn't gone unnoticed, i really do appreciate everything you do for me. I...why are you so formal all the time? I think of us as good friends Cullen, not just...trying to save the world together." A small chuckle emitted from both of them. He took this moment of comfortable silence to relish looking into those amazing eyes of hers, they were truly unique.

Anya broke the silence, "..was wondering if you wanted to go for a ride, at the end of this month, i need to clear my head, i think i need to get out of this tower."

His heart fluttered a little, as wrong as he knew it was with Blackwall lying only metres away unconscious, he couldn't help it. "Of course. I would like that, good idea. Will help you. I'll have Leliana look after Blackwall, I just pray he awakes..."she cut in before he could finish, "Why hasn't he woken up yet? Its like he's never...its been four months now."

That worried look that flashed over the inquisitors face, he hated it so much, he felt helpless to it.

" Would you mind if I told you a few stories, I think it might cheer you up a little."

So he sat with her, for what seemed like hours, talking and joking, her laughter wasn't something he was used to but he could definitely get used to it. It would end in a sort of snort, it was adorable.

Maker, he had it bad.

* * *

><p>Damnit. What were you thinking, idiot! Being alone with Cullen, why had she asked him for that? They already had a tension you could cut with a butter knife and others would talk...not like that mattered. But she really had grown attached to the commander over the last few weeks. All this time usually spent with Blackwall was all of a sudden filled with Cullen and it made her feel a tad guilty. Not that she was using him, by no means, even if Blackwall was awake she would be spending time with Cullen, for she had seen so many sides of him recently and enjoyed his company immensely. It was what she was starting to feel.. that scared her. When they were alone, they talked with such ease. He had been a good support since all this began, standing with her throughout everything. Finding out more about the former templar made her feel for him, never pity but...something was definitely there.<p>

"Inquisitor! Are you ready for our ride? I know just the place we can go." Commander Cullen looked very handsome this morning, as if a day away from the stresses of his military responsibilities did him the world of good. This was also the first time Anya had seen him in no armour. His muscles were very defined, she thought. Ah shit, was this a good idea?

"Anya, you're rather quiet, is everything okay?"

He seemed to call her different names but it didn't matter to her. Everything sounded good coming from his mouth..."no, no, sorry. I'm ok. Just a lot on my mind."

Cullen dropped the subject, sensing her body language was getting uncomfortable and that was the last thing he wanted to do. The trip had been fairly silent so far, it wasn't like the inquisitor. It wasn't like Anya. He had looked forward to this day for ages, what was wrong?

" Here. We should stop here. "

She had no idea where he had brought her, there was mist in the air, and a small wooden harbour that led her to the end of the water, and there they stood, looking out, hearing nothing but calm.

"It's...lovely out here Cullen. Thank you for bringing me here."

It truly was nice for her to clear her head, but impossible to do as well with him standing there. Nevertheless, her approval brought a large smile to his lips.

" It's just my small gift to you, I'd hope you'd like it. I used to come out here, to find a little peace. And there's this... " he held out his hand, a small coin lay within.

"I worry about you, every time you leave Skyhold, I long to be there fighting by your side, but I know that is not my place.."

This was an even gentler side of him she had never seen before, his eyes met hers as she took the small coin from his hands and put in the pocket closest to her heart.

"That's where it shall live, thank you, again, Cullen."

He looked up then, straight into her eyes, and closed the gap between them. "Anya, I...I. Desperately want to, but I know it goes against all that should, or could..."

They were so close, their noses touching tips, she couldn't pull away, she had been wanting this.

His longing for her had been torture. Too long watching from a distance, wishing, hoping for this moment. Their lips brushed and it set flames alight. It was a passionate kiss, one neither the inquisitor or Cullen had shared with anyone else. Full of yearning and truths and tongues. He wanted her and her him. It felt as if they were on fire, the only two in the world. He wouldn't let go of her, couldn't, wrapping his arms around her more, deepening the kiss. She pushed her body up against his, completely giving herself over to him. A small moan escapes her lips, the greatest sound to Cullen.

Then he heard the worst, someone behind them pulled out their sword, breaking them apart in an instant to face the attacker...

"Cullen, get your hands off my lady."

_Blackwall_.


	2. Torn

**Okay, so this chapter is from Cullen's POV, and then the inquisitors. Spoilers in this chapter so don't read on if you don't want to know the story!**

* * *

><p>It felt as if she was there for a reason. I've never had much faith since I left the Templar's, life was never that kind to me. When it comes to love, certainly not. When I first saw Anya I thought she was a beautiful woman, others shunned her for being an elf <em>and<em> a mage, but neither of those things have ever bothered me about her. Which is exceedingly strange because there was a time I hated magic.

I hated those who wielded it for their own power, I started to believe that was every mage. Not just because I was a Templar, I became wary of anyone using magic for evil means.

Then she walked into my life. Or rather, stormed her way in. It was so surprising to see anyone walk out of the fade, but now she has lived countless times and survived to tell the tale. I not only admire her for that, but I admire her for never giving in. She is an extremely resilient woman, I'm not sure how she isn't haunted by her past like I am. Her easy going attitude made me feel at ease straight away, she was more chatty than I was used to. Cassandra doesn't like to give much away, Josephine was always too busy and Leliana well...that would go against everything she stood for, to let others know about her.

So when this beautiful elf woman walked up to me at Haven, not demanding military strategies or barking orders, but simply wanting to know more about me, I couldn't believe it. I never thought of myself as interesting and yet she listened with such intent...and now look at me. I tried to deny the fact that I had a crush on the inquisitor of all people. I hid my feelings as best as I could, although she never stopped asking about me. It was hard to keep things strictly professional and yet I feared if we didn't I wouldn't be able to control myself. I was right. That day by the lake, where I took Anya, I wanted to show her peace, It was amazing to be alone with her, her beauty only surpassed by her personality. Forever thinking of others. That kiss...

"Cullen, are you daydreaming?" I looked up to see Leliana standing against the doorway, grinning from ear to ear. That was never a good thing.

" and here I thought you would be working yourself to the bone on another military strategy but no, instead you look like a man in love." I felt my cheeks go hot. I hated that I developed a blush when matters of the like came into conversation.

"I...how do you know everything?"

"It's not hard to notice that, it doesn't take a spy Cullen."

"Notice what?"

" That you are in love with Anya."

I am...I couldn't deny it. I almost didn't want to. And yet she is at this very moment with the man she should be with, I don't have her. She isn't mine.

"I'm sorry, I know its not my place, but if its any consolation I believe she feels the same way. I just don't think she knows who she wants, or feels...women are complicated like that."

She walked away leaving me to mull over what she had just said. If Leliana thought something, she was almost always right, it was her job to observe and tell what others were thinking and feeling...Anya loved me back? if that were true...it's all want. Yet things were so complicated, she was the inquisitor, we are at war. There might be a future after all this though...

No, I couldn't think like that. Her future didn't involve me in it. Even still, that kiss made me think she really felt something at least. In that moment It was like we were the only two people in the world, nothing else mattered.

I decided to get out of my office. Ever since I stopped taking Lyrium, it had been hard to go about my duties. Agonizing pain took over my body at times, but recently I have felt...better. All due to Anya as well. She was my saving grace.

It really is a breath taking view from the Skyhold battlements, I can clear my he-

" Cullen?"

I spun around to find Anya. Her eyes looked like she had been crying, they were red raw. And yet she still looked perfect.

"Anya, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have, before, I bet Blackwall wants to kill me." i blabbered.

She smiled a little, " No, on the contrary. I think at first, when he saw us by the lake yesterday, he may have felt like that. But he seems to think he doesn't deserve me. That I would be better off without him. He has always said that, he doesn't feel ill towards you, I told him it wasn't your fault."

There was a moment of silence, I wasn't sure what would be the right thing to say.

" Are you feeling alright, without the Lyrium?"

"oh yes, I'm fine actually, I have you to thank for that..."

I couldn't say I cared much for Blackwall, after we all found out what he had done with his men. Athough I know we all have a past. She was silent for a long time, staring out past the battlements to the snowy mountains beyond.

" I don't know...I don't know much these days. I'm terrified of what will come. I want you both by my side. I'm scared I won't be able to live up to what you all need me to be. I don't want to hurt anyone, I kill enough as it is. What if I disappoint everyone? What if I disappoint you?"

I wanted so badly to hold her again right there and then, to reassure her that everything would be ok, that she is doing a better job at saving the world than anyone ever could.

"You could never disappoint me. I didn't think i would see you, I thought you would be with..." a pang of jealousy hit me, I couldn't bare to think of her with anyone else.

" I care for Blackwall deeply. But..." Those eyes of hers seemed to be able to see right through me. I reached my hand out...

.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we have a situation that requires both of your attention. I think we know who poisoned Blackwall, it may have something to do with Coryphaeus, of course." The spell was broken and Anya took a step back. We followed Cassandra back to the war room, I had to stop myself from cursing.

* * *

><p>"So you're saying it was a grey warden that shot Blackwall with an arrow, do we know who?"<p>

I could tell anger was swelling up in the inquisitor's body, the need for revenge.

"Yes, but we only gathered that information from what one of Leliana's spies managed to trace back with the arrow. It was a poison, taken from the highly rare but deadly _Aconite_ plant. We have found this plant in various locations you have visited in enemy territory and we know the grey wardens are using it. Why? We can only speculate that Corypheus is getting desperate, he knows there is a chance now that you could very well defeat him and he is scared. Hence, he is trying to kill off your companions, your support. Trying to cripple you. " Josephine explained to them.

" I won't let him. He's dead." I have never seen Anya like that, she is always fiercely protective of the people around her but she must care for Blackwall like no other.

What was I thinking that she could want me?

* * *

><p>"Are you alright?"<p>

"I betrayed you and you are asking if I'm ok. Blackwall..." I couldn't believe he could be so selfless.

"Don't. I understand. I still want you, I don't want to be without you, you are everything to me. I never thought someone like me would find someone like you. I was angry but now we could be facing death it seems pointless to stay that way."

I truly don't deserve him. Though he had a point.I have always loved that in Blackwall, he's unlike any other man I've met, except for Cullen. I love both of them. They both have a need to do good, to try and atone for their pasts.

"Thom, when you lied to me about being the real Blackwall, I couldn't see I was that upset. I felt lied to and betrayed. How can you let go of what you saw yesterday so easily. I can't deny that I didn't want it to happen." I could see the hurt in his face but he had to know the truth. When I could die any minute I wasn't going to lie. None of us were safe with coryphaeus alive.

He put his arms around me in an embrace.

" I knew you felt something for Cullen, all along. It's hard to not notice the connection between you two. I always felt like I was intruding on that, but when you took an interest in me... I couldn't resist. Anya, I just want you to be happy." I didn't know what to say so I simply burrowed into him .

Tomorrow, we all set out for the Arbor Wilds. I'm not sure what to expect, possibly more on my elven people. Morrigan can hopefully help with that. I set out with Blackwall at my side which makes me feel safe, not to mention my other friends. I need to see Cullen, it could be my last chance. There were things to be said.

I waited until Blackwall fell sleep, and snuck out. When I arrived at Cullen's quarters, he wasn't sleeping. I wondered if he ever sleeps. The light shone under the door, I entered and saw his back was turned, he was scribbling away into a journal.

"I never knew you kept a diary."

Cullen spun run, I'd obviously taken him by surprise. There was a certain innocence to Cullen that I loved.

" Oh! Yes, well, I feel like someone has to record what happens here with the legendary inquisition."

He stood up and came closer. I mustered up the courage to say what I had come to say.

" Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, I just had to talk to you. I'm leaving tomorrow-"

"I know." he interrupted, " it's all I've been thinking about, I knew you were with Blackwall and I didn't want to disturb, but I wanted to see you before you leave. I prayed for the first time in ages tonight, for the maker to keep you safe. I will fight with our army for our cause, as hard as I ever have. "

"Cullen," I closed the gap between us, instantly regretting what I was doing but wanting to be closer to this man I felt so much for.

" I love you. I do. I'm not afraid to say it anymore."

He pounced on me, crashing his lips down on mine. I could hear a bottle smash to the floor but neither of us cared at this point. He swiped his hand across the desk, knocking everything to the ground. I clambered onto the desk and he followed , placing small kisses all over my body, pulling at my clothes. I ran my fingers through his hair, kissing him like I've always wanted to. Something in the way he was acting made me feel truly wanted, as if he had been waiting for this moment. I tugged off his armour so his chest was exposed. Goosebumps were popping up on his skin, i kissed them away. He grabbed my hand and led me upstairs.

Lying here with Cullen, I thought it would never happen. We were both naked, hands tracing each others skin. I'd never felt more alive. A pang of guilt hit me but I tried to wash it away. I didn't want to think, not now. I would explain everything to Blackwall after all this was over, somehow.

For one night at least, it was just us. Alone together and happy. Who knows what tomorrow would bring.

" I love you Anya." he whispered gently into my ear. That's all I wanted to hear.

* * *

><p><strong>Please review!<strong>


	3. Pieces

"This is not the time nor place for this, _Thom Rainier_!" Cullen's voice reverberated off Skyhold's stone walls so loud that the entire courtyard stood to attention.

"Oooh, cully wully and mr 'I'm a grey warden but I'm not really' are really having it out eh?" Sera giggled with Dorian, who was only half listening. He liked Sera but sometimes she was so childish. She had a lot of growing up to do still. He understood relations between people can be difficult and there was always a grey area. His attention was more concentrated on the inquisitor, who stood mortified on the battlements, her face hidden in her hands at the scene the two men were making over her. _Stuck between two handsome men and unable to choose, poor dear._

" I think now is the only time we may get, commander! You cheating bastard!" Blackwall erupted in fury and threw himself at Cullen.

"Enough!" Cassandra swung her blade between them, " You two, take it somewhere else! Your private affairs should stay exactly that, _**private.**_ I'm pretty sure the entire Thedas can hear you right now, not to mention Anya!"

Both men immediately hung their heads in shame, their surroundings becoming apparent suddenly. At the sound of the inquisitor's name Blackwall rushed off to the stables. Cullen's cheeks flashed red, he was normally so reserved about such matters and the idea of a screaming match in the middle of Skyhold...but he could not stand for saying nothing when Blackwall had intercepted him that morning with all kinds of abuse. All his accusations were true , of course. It filled him with guilt but he could not deny his feelings for Anya.

"Cullen, come " Cassandra took the commanders arm and led him back to his office.

"Well well. I was almost looking forward to a cat fight there. Would have been rather enjoyable to watch, but I do feel for the inquisitor." Dorian mused.

" I don't feel sorry for her, I feel sorry for the two men she's been stringing along!" grumbled Sera, heading back to the tavern with Dorian.

" I see your point Sera but Its not always that simple my dear, it's not always that simple."

For once, Dorian did not relish in the gossip and whisperings that were now going on around him. Not when his best friend was the main topic of conversation.

* * *

><p>"Anya..." she couldn't look at him. Couldn't face either of them, the pain that she had caused both of them, not to mention that now everyone knew about this mess, she may never show her face again.<p>

"I'm so sorry Blackwall, I never meant to hurt you. I should have told you, I tried to-"

"Stop. I'm sorry for creating a scene, I could'nt help myself. You weren't there when I woke up this morning and I wondered where you had gone so I'm not glad to admit it but I went to Cullen's office and I spied on the two of you. I saw..."

They stood on the battlements in silence, Skyhold had a stunning view but he found the inquisitor even more so.

"I can't say I blame you. I half expected you to hit Cullen or shout at me or do something. You've reacted quite the opposite up until now. I'm so sorry."

He moved closer to her and looked out over the mountaintops, " I was overcome with jealousy at first. I wanted to kill Cullen... then I remembered. You gave me my freedom after Val royeaux to become a better man. Not to go down the same path I was on before. I stopped myself because even if what the both of you did was wrong I-I'm not that man any more. You have hurt me, but... I still love you. That will never change. Like I said before I just want you to be happy."

She winced at his confession knowing she had hurt him but deep down he was right. Cullen was the man she had been in love with since they first met. Since Haven and after she walked out the fade, her heart was set on him. She would never truly be happy while they were apart.

Anya walked over to Blackwall and leaned her head on his shoulders, taking his hand in hers.

" Thank you Thom. I believed you were a good man all along, you didn't need anyone to aspire to. You have done a lot of wrong things and so have I, but the important thing is that you realise them and rise above it all. You'll always hold a place in my heart. " She squeezed his hand in hers and they watched the sun go down.

* * *

><p>Cullen couldn't shake her from his thoughts. Even after the morning confrontation with Blackwall all he wanted was to see Anya. Jealousy burned within him, she was with him he knew it. They were probably making up right now. She doesn't want <em>you.<em> The headache he had been having for days immediately got worse, the pain blinded him and his knees buckled out from under him. The room was spinning; every time he tried to reach for the desk it seemed to get further and further away...

He awoke to find Anya asleep on his chest.

" She refused to leave your side-"

His eyes darted upright to see Blackwall standing at the end of his bed.

"- when she found out you had collapsed because of your lyrium withdrawal, something a lot of people respect you for. You're a lucky man Commander. I hope you look after her." With that he turned and walked out.

Cullen sat up in his bed, mulling over what Blackwall had just said when he almost forgot Anya was sleeping on top of him.

"Hey-" she stirred from her sleep, "I was worried you weren't going to wake up! Are you okay?"

He smiled and pulled her into an embrace. "I am now. But Anya, listen, I-I am sorry about this morning too.

I know Blackwall is a good man and he had every right to shout abuse at me.. I don't blame you, I-"

She pulled back and cupped his face with her hand, " We talked. He's okay. As okay as he can be I guess.I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but I don't want to send him away. He just knows I am in love with you and wants me to be happy, that's all."

Cullen had never felt so happy, could this finally mean...what? That they could be together properly?

"Yes." She whispered to him as if reading his mind was a new power for her, a smile spread across her face until she was laughing.

" Makers breath...I can't believe it Anya. I have you all to myself? It's-"

She cut him off with a kiss, crushing her lips down on his.

"Shhh, enough words for now." he let out a moan, wanting nothing more than to melt into her.

Neither knew what the future could hold, so many dangers lay ahead... but for now, they would cherish their time together and the feeling of finally being complete.

* * *

><p><strong>I may continue but I'm not sure. Thanks for reading.<strong>


	4. Into the Wild

"It's nice to see you still have your faith..."

Anya had awoken that morning to an empty bed, wondering where Cullen had gone. They had an amazing night together, one she wouldn't easily forget. After searching the grounds a small secluded room reserved for prayer was the last place she had expected to find Cullen, who was knelt on the floor murmuring a prayer of sorts; she had never been a big believer but nevertheless respected others who were.

"Praying for those lost, and those I am afraid to lose..."

He stood and turned to face her. Even now having only awoken she looked radiant to him. He was tempted to try and convince her not to go. To let someone else face Corypheus, why must she do it every time? Why must she be put in the most danger? It was painful to watch her leave, never knowing if he would be holding a funeral or planning a party.

"I know what you're thinking Cullen, but I plan on returning you know. Anyway I have luck on my side, remember."

Her mouth upturned into the slightest smile,. Truth was if she thought about the matter too long, it was too tempting to just run away with the man she loved. Although Corypheus would never let her have that peace. He had to die.

"To think you won't return, its unbearable Anya. I'm sorry for leaving you this morning, I just hoped this might help."

He wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace, placing a small kiss on her neck. His breath on her skin sent shivers down her spine.

"Cullen...is it wrong in a place of worship that you are getting me all hot and bothered?" He chuckled and tightened his grip around her, never wanting to let go. She moved her hands up his back and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Anya, just make sure you **do** return."

* * *

><p>He felt abandoned. Well, nothing was new there. His whole life had been one big cock-up, as far as he saw it. All he ever did was let people down, even the one man who had tried to recruit him all those years ago for the legendary grey wardens, the <em><strong>true<strong>_ Blackwall. The one man who had tried to make him into someone good, someone to be admired and loved. He had seen through his own cocky exterior and saw...what? _Potential_? All he ever wanted was to be that man Blackwall believed he could be; to inspire people. Thom rainier had never been that man. Or at least, he had never thought he was, until Anya walked into his life. She made him truly believe he could _help_. When he joined the Inquisition he was given new purpose. When she had walked away, half giving up on him, he saw what he always saw in people's eye and that was disappointment. The Blackwall in him would never allow that look to come back again. When she whispered the words, ' but were does this leave us?' well...it's not as if he's never had female attention before but hell, this wasn't just any woman. He could tell that straight away. She was a mage yes, but it made no difference to him. Her beauty really was something he thought belonged only to fairy tales. The way she had with words, the way she held herself...it was no wonder everyone believed her to be the best choice to lead the Inquisition. From day one she had him hooked, line and sinker.

Now, after the big secret was revealed and everyone knew he was indeed a fraud, she _still_ believed in him. Still allowed him to use the name Blackwall even; he was afraid it would tarnish the real Blackwall's memory but not Anya...she believed it was something to strive for, always looking forward. He guessed that's what Cullen finds so darn atttractive in her as well, amongst other things. Bugger... when did he become so jealous?

"Blackwall, are you ready to leave?"

There she was in all her glory, standing just by the stables in a well fitted armour. Or was it just Blackwall's imagination? He would gladly lay down his life for her any day.

"Of course m'lady. Are we heading out?" He noticed she looked shaken, not her usual self who was ready for battle, willing to step into whatever danger lay ahead.

" Yes...and no. Do you want to get a drink first?"

Her question startled him but any time spent with her was a blessing so he jumped at the chance.

"I'm ready when you are."

The tavern of Skyhold was unusually quiet. Blackwall and Anya the only two sitting by the fire.

"Anyone would have thought you were Daydreaming back there Blackwall?" He almost choked on his ale.

"Me? Ha!" That was the only response he could muster, he _had_ been daydreaming, about her.

"Everyone else must be preparing themselves. I've been going round talking to everyone today, it felt like goodbye's but I-don't want to think that way. "

She sounded distant. He watched as the fire's reflection danced in her eyes.

"Is there something on your mind Anya?"

It was worrying to see her like this, even when he knew she wasn't his anymore, the feelings he had for her were always going to be there.

" I-I have never been so unsure. We are nearing the end I can feel it, Coryphaeus will be dead ,or I will-"

"He will." Blackwall stated firmly, brushing a stray hair from her face, "Did I ever tell you that you're beautiful?"

She smiled at his remark and his confidence in her. An awkward silence followed, Anya wasn't sure how to answer Blackwall, who she had hurt so many times now. Of course he wasn't perfect either but whatever they had together was still there, it was clear to both of them. Would that chemistry ever go away? It was going to make things difficult but she tried to move it from her mind and ready herself for what was to come.

"Always the charmer Blackwall, thank you. That's one thing I do love about you. That and your bravery, your modesty, you never see that underneath all that self doubt is a good man. I'm so glad to have you by my side, I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Come now," he blushed a little at the compliments; good thing he had the beard to cover it he thought.

"Sorry, I'm being foolish but after everything, we've all came so far.." Seeing Cullen that morning had made her think about the entire situation. The way Cullen had clung to her for dear life, he really did love her. As she loved him. But the thought of _actually dying_...it had been something she'd tried not to think about through this whole mess and now it was impossible to ignore. And she was sitting with another man who claimed to be in love with her. She really didn't see what they clearly all saw in her.

" We're not dead yet." Blackwall broke the silence. "Whatever the cost we'll come home in one piece, **you** will come home in one piece, I'll make sure of it." He smiled in reassurance and stood up, holding his hand out to Anya.

"We all will I hope, I can't drink alone." She laughed with him before taking his hand and venturing out into the Arbor Wilds...

* * *

><p>Well, it had been tough, but with the support of Cullen's army and everyone from the inquisition they had beaten Coryphaeus, almost. They still had no idea where he had went after the Well but for the time being, they had won.<p>

It would have been cause for celebration, Iron Bull had just opened a bottle of his finest...whatever it was that burned throat's. Blackwall had kept his promise and fought harder than she had ever seen him fight.

The only problem was, the person Anya wanted to see most had disappeared when they returned to Skyhold. After checking his office she noticed from the corner of her eye something red glowing in the distance, coming from the battlements.

"Cullen.." she started to speak but was stunned to see him holding a piece of red lyrium in his hands.

"What are you doing?!"

Using her staff which thankfully was still in her possession, the lyrium was thrown from his hands and over the edge in a matter of seconds.

"Anya! I'm so sorry, I just wanted to...I was stupid. I found it when we ventured into the wilds, I-I know you aren't supposed to even go near the stuff, I know its dangerous."

"YES, its very dangerous Cullen! I've seen what that stuff does to people, it makes them hideous... what were you thinking, you are a recovering lyrium addict!"

He remained silent but the smallest smile crept across his lips.

"Cullen...you are really worrying me now, this isn't like yo-" He cut her off with a deep, longing kiss. He was past the point in caring who saw them together anymore, not that it had really mattered in the first place. All he needed was her right now.

They stayed like that for quite a while before Cullen broke the kiss first, "You really do care for me, you were worried for me?"

"You idiot! Of course I do, I _love_ you. So much. But you haven't answered my question, what were you doing with the red lyrium?." Cullen slid a hand around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

" I just-I have never _worried_ for anyone more in my life than I worried for you. I'll just be glad when all this is over. The red lyrium..it was foolish to touch the stuff but I had to see how far I'd come and really, I felt ok. I feel like a burden has been lifted. It doesn't have a pull over me anymore."

She placed a small kiss on his cheek, " I'm so proud of you Cullen, I want this to be over as much as you do and it will be soon. Just promise you won't go near it again?"

He nodded gently in agreement.

" I wanted to find you for another reason actually. Tonight, we're going to play a game of Wicked Grace and I'm not taking no for an answer Cullen!"

* * *

><p><strong>Next chapter...Wicked Grace, the full story! ;)<strong>


End file.
